Who Loses in the Age of the Heart?

It would be nice to have the sportsmanship and grace from my youth. As I recall, we all tried our best, but when the game was over, well, that was it. There really weren’t any hard feelings and we all moved on. No grudges. I’m not naive enough to believe that there weren’t hurt feelings, but for the most part, we didn’t contest the results of the scoreboard.

Certainly, there were obnoxious people who had to rub it in when they won, but nothing like today. We’ve gotten to the point where one side cannot just win, they have to “dunk” on their opponent, humiliate them, completely destroy the other side. Graciousness is not in abundance. And that’s too bad because being gracious is a skill necessary for the Age of the Heart. There is nuance and degrees of “winning.”

Today’s GenZ types (born between 1995 and 2012 and are roughly between 13 and 31 years old) adapt and embrace the age of the heart better than other generations. They “get” love, compassion, and tolerance; empathy and understanding; usually are able to understand another’s perspective and they are often gracious. But those who have difficulty adapting to this new age (often GenX born between 1965 and 1979 and 46 to 60 years old) see the world differently because the world is changing in unexpected ways.

The gap between GenX’s youthful expectations compared to their actual life is a chasm: in many cases, life has passed them by. X’s parents, the Boomers (61-79 years old) were the beneficiaries of a world where a high school diploma would almost guarantee that they could surpass their parents. X’s believed that this would continue with them and their skill set (Age of Information/brain) would suffice. As long as things don’t change that much, using one’s hands or brains is all that is necessary to be successful.

But it’s a different age. As we move into this Age of the Heart, even Millennials (born between 1980 and 1994 who are 31 to 45 years old) can feel others are surpassing them. Like their parents, many believe that they’re in line, waiting to exceed the American Dream, but people (often people or color, immigrants, LGBTQ+, and others) appear to be cutting ahead of them. This is unsettling and can make them nostalgic for a time when their privilege was enough. Now, the rules are changing, they feel like they’re losing out, and this uneasiness creates problems in the Age of the Heart.