Guilt and Shame

A  joke I make about my unhappiness with most organized religions is how they act toward their adherents regarding sin and making people feel guilty and ashamed. I say, “If I want guilt and shame, I’ll call my mother.” While we wind our way through the cusp of the new Age of the Heart, we don’t really understand guilt or shame in our current climate. 

Guilt is synonymous with regret. I should have…I should not have…if only…That type of thing. Shame, though, is much more painful in that it fills us with pain, powerlessness, and maybe even worthlessness. The humiliation hurts more than regret. 

And in too many instances humiliating another person is the point.  

In the not too distant past there was a time when a leader, caught in a lie or scandal, would quietly resign or just go away. Usually due to the guilt or the shame it created. Now, there is a brazen attempt to just blow through it. Those who support the guilty offender first attack the whistleblower, then they deny what happened. And when true information comes to light, they say, “Okay, maybe it did happen, but it’s not a big deal.” And finally, “Okay, it did happen, but we’re moving past it.” Clearly, there is no shame or guilt.

There are things that we should be ashamed about. And it is normal to have regrets. And the skill that is needed in the Age of the Heart is introspection. In order to heal, we have to first acknowledge our actions, accept the costs, and learn..