A Different Perspective...

In the Age of the Heart, essential skills focus more on emotions than on intellect. Traits like empathy, sympathy, tolerance, respect, and understanding are crucial. A more intellectual skill is the ability to understand others' viewpoints. Recognizing how others think and feel enhances comprehension and can calm heated discussions.

Much of the anger stems from our tendency to see ourselves in a flattering light. We credit our successes to our own hard work but blame outside factors for our failures. This way of thinking makes us feel in control of our successes while feeling helpless about our failures. And this is the self-serving bias.

As a Qualified Neutral (Mediator), I've handled many cases. While many ended positively, some cannot be resolved. People can get trapped in feelings of anger or self-pity, making it hard for them to move forward. However, even in tough cases, when I help each party understand the other's thoughts and feelings, we often find common ground. They have to see the other’s point of view.

An essential skill in the Age of the Heart is the ability to see the other’s perspective. You don’t have to agree with it, you don’t have to like it, you don’t have to do anything more than articulate it. When a client can simply articulate the other’s point of view, they often see the “how” and the “why” of the impasse and then we can negotiate an agreement both sides like. And that understanding opens their heart.